


eyes emoji

by henclair



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, Group chat, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Texting, chatfic, connor is ace and aro, enjoy mroe trash, groupchat, yup another one of these fics lmao but deh this time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-01 04:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12148407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henclair/pseuds/henclair
Summary: Starbisexual: eww kleinman is whipped™Imamemelinda: pot calling the kettle bitchNo: i heard pot





	1. Kleinman Is Whipped

**Author's Note:**

> No: Connor Murphy  
> Treesrfriends: Evan Hansen  
> Moonlesbian: Alana Beck  
> Starbisexual: Zoe Murphy  
> Imamemelinda: Jared Kleinman

Starbisexual: eww kleinman is whipped™

Imamemelinda: pot calling the kettle bitch

No: i heard pot

Imamemelinda: useless ace aro long legged gremlin stoner

No: that’s me what you want

Starbisexual: you FINISHED MY FUCKING MILK

No: yeah so

Starbisexual: UR LACTOSE INTOLERANT

Imamemelinda: lacktoastinadderol???.jpg

Treesrfriends: its not being whipped its having a healthy relationship with good dynamics and mutual respect

No: eww relationships,

Imamemelinda: no i’m p whipped evan

Imamemelinda: but so is zoe eyesemoji

Starbisexual: put in the actual emoji u fuvk,,

Moonlesbian: did anyone do the hw for french class??

Starbisexual: you take french????

Moonlesbian: zoe im your girlfriend

Starbisexual: yeah so u should talk to me in french

No: she means she wants you to flirt and seduce her over text in french

Imamemelinda: Do It Alana Beck

Starbisexual: yes do it Alana Beck

Moonlesbian: i can say what day it is

Moonlesbian: aujord hui c’est le vingt septembre

Starbisexual: mmm yeah look at my talented girl you go bb i love you

Moonlesbian: imaflusteredlesbian.jpg

Imamemelinda: that was a meme alana,, my daughtre all gro wn up,,,,,,

Treesrfriends: does that mean my ex is my daughter in law? Jared why didn’t you tell me i hate awkward family dynamics

Imamemelinda: sorry babe but family is family

Treesrfriends: im dissapointed

Imamemelinda: n o don’t be,,,

Starbisexual: whipped™ 

Treesrfriends: actually i agree

No: savage level 9000

No: top ten anime betrayels

Imamemelinda: alana ur my only real friend

Moonlesbian: sorry we’re just acquaintances

Imamemelinda: evan??

Treesrfriends: dont worry i’ll always lvoe you jare bear

Imamemelinda: im coming over with vodka and a bathbomb

No: romantic

Imamemelinda: ok maybe neither, my mom took them

Treesrfriendds: good but u gotta come over my mom is gonna be gone for her weird seminar for three days and im super dependent on her?? Like she isn;t even always home but how am i going to survive alone jfc im a teenager nd my mom has left the hosie yikes

Imamemelinda: breathe ev breathe,,

Moonbisexual: maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t bring that vodka jared

Imamemelinda: evan is a surprisinlgy put together drunk, he doesn’t get needy like i do and he doesnt cry? He just like gets shit done and canhold his liquor pretty well omh

Treesrfriends: thanks jared! But like idk,, i like you when you’re drunk, youre even cuter than usual and thats saying a lot idk dude i just love u a lot and u being drunk is sometimes the greates thing

Imamemelinda: ;)

Starbisexual: eyesemoji.jpg

Imamemelinda: hypocrite

Monbisexual: evan jared consent is key

Treesrfriends: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Imamemelinda: dw alana, he gives plenty of consent

No: i leave to buy drugs and yall r talking abt underage sex,, illegal

Starbisexual: you bought d r u g s connor

No: yup

Starbisexual: mom and dad r gonna b thrilled

No: they haven’t come in my room since i was six zoe im fine, i once drank tea made out of weed and sugar and they didn’t notice

Imamemelinda: that’s genius connor

Treesrfriends: jared joseph kleinman you are in no way doing drugs

Treesrfriends: they smell bad i will refuse to kiss u

Imamemelinda: open the door i don’t have weed

Imamemelinda: nvrmind window it is

No: leave u gay fucks


	2. I Caught Them In The Den...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imamemelinda: i stg connor if you expose me using a musical reference i’m suing you with pennies
> 
> No: i caught them in the den
> 
> Imamemelinda: oh my god

Starbisexual: woo 4:20 in the morning this is for u con

Moonlesbian: go to SLEEP babe

Starbisexual: alana sweetie were facetiming rn,,

Moonlesbian: i’ll watch over u while you sleep Zoe!

Starbisexual: like a more romantic twilight?

Moonlesbian: like a more romantic twilight.

No: wow now it’s the morning and i was actually asleep at 4:20 zoe stop assuming

Imamemelinda: wow good job connor you SLEPT

No: fuck off kleinsen

Imamemelinda: wow ok MURPHY

No: wow rude kleinman do u want me to expose you

Starbisexual: yes he does

Moonlesbian: zoe! no!

Imamemelinda: i stg connor if you expose me using a musical reference i’m suing you with pennies

No: i caught them in the den

Imamemelinda: oh my god  
Treesrfriends: as much as i love falsettos lets please not go into detail!

Starbisexual: Evan!!!!

Treesrfriends: yeah???

Starbisexual: YOU’RE DOING SM BETTER,, A FEW MONTHS AGO U WOULDN’T EVEN HAVE RECOVERED FROM THAT LITTLE HALF COMMENT

Moonlesbian: That’s true!! GO EVAN

Imamemelinda: wow im crying in the club now i love my bf and his character development

Treesrfriends: guys?????!!!!!!!!!!!!

No: yeah go tree kid

Treesrfriends: ?DKNIPBF}Niknpbs uevn

Treesrfriends: i took his phone now bc he’s srsly crying nd god i love this boy -jared

No: u slept over at his house? My comment might actually be relevant then

Moonlesbian: what was the full comment, i haven’t listened to falsettos yet

Starbisexual: baby u don’t wanna know

Moonlesbian: zoe what did we talk abt?

Starbisexual: o! Sorry!

Moonlesbian: for clarification when i feel like zoe is babying me we have a little system to get her to stop. having anxiety makes ppl baby me? also i’m autistic, but only a bit and so that doesn’t make it any better

Starbisexual: healthy communication!

No: wow too much love here i’m gonna be emotional

Imamemelinda: hey guys this is evan i took jared’s phone bc he took mine

Imamemelinda: he has so many memes what is this

Imamemelinda: wow he has a photo album of me? Im gonna cry again jared is so adorable i don’t understand this

Starbisexual: wow alana never take my phone 

Moonlesbian: don’t take mine

No: see if he has nudes

Imamemelinda: i know he doesn’t have them

No: he’d probably send them to you lmao

Imamemelinda: this is jared and fuck off murphy i wouldn’t send evan nudes he’d spontaneously combyst

Treesrfriends: what even are we talking about now??

Imamemelinda: nothing! Love you!

Treesrfriends: <3 but where did u get all those photos of me

Imamemelinda: bye.png

Treesrfriends: HE JUMPED OUT MY WINDOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can y'all tell i love musicals???  
> follow me! @floralconversesations on tumblr and insta and also @musicals.succ_ on insta  
> the comment i got made my d a y i stg


	3. Solidarity

Imamemelinda: this chat is dead and i won’t fucking stand for it you guys are my friends

Treesrfriends: jared im sitting on your lap

Imamemelinda: and what difference does it make? I still want other ppl to come online so i can rub my romance in their faces with my grubby hands

Treesrfriends: i mean ok but we could also watch ghostbusters cuddle

Imamemelinda: hhhhhhhhhhhh

Imamemelinda: you drive a hard bargain ev,, 

Treesrfriends; but i also have some things i was writing so if you wanna just cuddle and i can write and you could text and i would text as well we could do that bc i dont wanna pressure you to do anythkng with me

Imamemelinda: ev, evvie, its watching a movie not having sex don’t worry about pressuring me

No: kleinsen the boy has anxiety

Imamemelinda: don’t u mean kleinman, murphy

No: i know what i typed

Imamemelinda: bfeoesubfoabbsfo thanks conboi murphweed

No: No.

_Imamemelinda has changed No’s name to Conboi murphweed_

Conboi murphweed: i

Conboi murphweed: oh my god

Treesrfriends: JARED!

Imamemelinda: relax evvie he can change it

Treesrfriends: :/ ok

Imamemelinda: WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING

Imamemelinda: EVAN

Imamemelinda: WHER DID U GO 

Treesrfriends: im getting a poptart jare

Imamemelinda: oh.

Conboi murphweed: oh my god

Starbisexual: we do not use the lord’s name in vain conner!

Conboi murphweed: we haven’t gone to church in years zoe.

Starbisexual: fake, irrelavent, no one cares

Conboi murphweed: and our parents wonder why we argue sm

Starbisexual: we do not!

Conboi murphweed: we got banned from a hostel because of noise complaints when we were 6

Imamemelinda: could’ve been your parents making the noise

Imamemelinda: just sayin

Starbisexual: jared have you met our parents?

Imamemelinda: no lol

Starbisexual: the only noise complaints that we would get because of them is if they started yelling at each other over baseball or soemthin

Conboi murphweed: we’re really the helathy alll american family minus the healthy and the blond haired blue eyed racistness

Moonlesbian: i heard racism

Starbisexual: oh look its my girlfriend!

Moonlesbian: oh look it’s my acquaintances!

Moonlesbian: and _my_ girlfriend!!!

Imamemelinda: EVVIE THEY OUTGAY US W/OUT EVEN TRYING

Moonlesbian: wlw/mlm solidarity jared, it’s not a competition

Imamemelinda: tearingup.jpg

Treesrfriends: i come back with poptarts and water to see jared crying over a text

Treesrfriends: he’s cuddly when he cries thanks alana

Moonlesbian: like i said, wlw/mlm solidarity

Conboi murphweed: hey guys, im here too

Starbisexual: and why is that exactly?

Conboi murphweed: hey that sound u heard? That was me kicking your door with my combat boots on

Starbisexual: jokes on you i already snuck out to meet alana at a la mode 

Conboi murphweed: im going to stash weed in your saxophone

Starbisexual: have fun i leave it at school

Conboi murphweed: i’ll read your diary

Starbisexual: got rid of it.

Starbisexual: actually you burned it

Conboi murphweed: fine. You win.

Starbisexual: YEA BITCH

Moonlesbian: hey zoe now can we have our date?

Starbisexual: b right there!

Imamemelinda: connor admits defeat

Imamemelinda: i have this screenshotted ur welcome zoe

Imamemelinda: sfbosubefeb uedf bwfueb wf

Treesrfriends: jared all i did was give you a kiss

Imamemelinda: evvie u are my boyfriend if i don’t always react like that im broken

Conboi murphweed: get a room

Treesrfriends: ?? we have one??

Imamemelinda: no ev that’s not what he means

Treesrfriends: jare bear i know what connor means

Conboi murphweed: ho dont do it

Treesrfriends: and im saying we have a room

Conboi murphweed: oh my god

Treesrfriends: if we choose to use it that is it’s up to you

Imamemelinda: uve9wdbfpeweyfboeyivfeugbuewbfubewuv ewu fe 

Imamemelinda: evan hansen loml

Treesrfriends: i guess we’re not using it?

Imamemelinda: bye gc

Conboi murphweed: get ur sexting out of the gc b4 i come over there and break ur phones

Conboi murphweed: also hey zoe

Starbisexual: what?

Conboi murphweed: yeet.jpg

Starbisexual: CONNOR THAT’S MINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt like takin a break from my new fandoms to revisit a trusty one since i finally watched a boot oops  
> @floralconversesations on tumblr!  
> kudos and comments r love!!

**Author's Note:**

> woo hoo a deh fic like my bmc one bc im totally not procrastinating writing michael and jeremy getting otgether totally not pfft  
> follow me on tumblr @floralconversesations and on insta @musicals.succ  
> yadda yadda id die for kudos comments and bookmarks


End file.
